The reception hall was light, airy. Most of the creatures there were partying, congratulating themselves after a hard fought negotiation that had left both galaxies better off. Most, except for two ambassadors that were huddled in a corner, trying to avoid the delegation from Sol.
“Oh you didn’t.”
“You just went and threatened Earth.”
“It seemed logical at the time. I mean, they love the place so much, but it’s only a planet.”
“I know exactly what you mean, it’s crazy how attached they are to the place. Do you want to know a secret? I probably shouldn’t tell you this but…”
“They aren’t really a part of our alliance. We just leave them alone out there on their spiral arm to weed out extragalactic invasions from that quadrant. Means we can put our defences elsewhere. All the locals learned ages ago, but newcomers fall for the same trap every time; you can fight them, conquer colonies, obliterate navies, whatever you like. But point one planetkiller at Earth and they get-”
“They just got that look. In their freaky binocular eyes.”
“So, what did you do?”
“We had an amazing invasion force, backed by giant mechas.”
“Really? We thought it was pretty special, the mechas were- but I suppose it doesn’t matter now. You know, they burnt a continent to get rid of us though. How many times can they do that, realistically?”
“You’d think that wouldn’t you? Have a look on your way past, they’ve probably rebuilt it already.”
“No thanks. If I have to see those smiles again…”
“Urgh, yeah. So creepy.”
“Don’t look so down ambassadors, negotiations finished, everyone wins. Have a drink!” The two froze as a species-appropriate liquid was plopped into the cybernetic augment or pseudopod of each one. The human smiled, mouth too full of teeth in between the bristles on its face, then left, calling out to another species.
Each ambassador said something untranslatable from their own language.
“Do you think he heard us?”
“I’ve no idea. Let’s never find out.”